Lessons from Toddlers

Or What I Learned in Nursery:

• Successful nursery classes are when no one gets injured. (Thus far, I have been the only casualty: a tennis-ball-sized bruise is a small price to pay for child-survival.)

• Having a large lap is a bonus feature. Two kids on one lap - a feat worth of acclamation.

• When a toddler says he needs to go potty, he usually means he should have gone ten minutes ago.

• If you don't have a picture or other fascinating object, don't bother with the lesson.

• Every kid likes bubbles. Even twelve-year-olds.

• When you are three-and-under, every adult female is called "mommy."

• If a toddler doesn't like you, she will run screaming from you. No guessing games.

• Most children under two haven't learned how to drink from a regular cup. Keep a lot of paper towels around.

• Children don't care if you don't sing well as long as you make exaggerated facial expressions while you do it.

• There is nothing unmanly about playing with dolls.

• If there isn't enough for every single child, don't bring it.

• If you are excited, the children will be too. If you are tired, they won't be.

• If a child falls asleep on your lap, enjoy it: you don't have to do any of the cleaning up.